What to expect when someone you love has been involved in a critical incident or has developed PTSD:
Loved ones often feel confusion- why can’t their loved one “get over” the incident
Dealing with unpredictable moods from the trauma survivor, finding new causes or “triggers” make it worse)
Loved ones feels that they have to “tiptoe around” or are “walking on eggshells” around the PTSD survivor
The trauma survivor can shows extreme emotions and sensitivity (even to little things)
Loved ones often feel frustration and powerlessness towards the PTSD survivor
Loved ones can feel anger and aggression towards the PTSD survivor especially if they are aggressive towards you
If the PTSD survivor does not confide in you, you can feel hurt but this is often normal
Sometimes the loved ones do not want to know or hear about the trauma as is it horrifying to them
Loved ones can feel guilt- why is the survivor avoiding me, having flashbacks, or not talking to me…often times they feel “What am I doing wrong?”
Loss of intimacy- trauma survivors often isolate themselves or are more distant than before
The trauma survivors often isolate themselves and make their world smaller (talk to less people, go to less places, etc.)
Trauma survivors often have sleep disruption (sleep erratic, shorter hours, nightmares, odd times, etc.)
Often loved ones can sacrifice their goals, enjoyment, or friendships to accommodate the trauma survivor which can lead to resentment
Changes in the trauma survivor can alter the nature of their relationship and the loved one can feel disappointment and loss
Loved ones often feel worry, anxiety, and sadness about the trauma survivor
Loved ones may have a variety of emotions and that is also normal
What you can do to help yourself
Get appropriate amount of sleep, sleep at regular times
Eat healthy (lots of fruits, vegetable, and whole foods)
Exercise
Relax/Have fun
Take time for yourself/socialize
Get social support
Set appropriate limits
Communicate assertively 1) say clearly what is bothering you, 2) tell the other person how their behavior affect you, 3) state what you would like to be changed, 4) offer a compromise or describe the consequence/limits of your ability